I’ve spent quite a few holidays (specifically Thanksgiving and Christmas) at home alone. As soon as you mention this to family, friends, and strangers, their faces immediately show sympathy and great sadness, almost like you told them someone had died.
“Ohhh….But it’s Christmas. You shouldn’t be alone at Christmas”.
It’s weird, but I’m very much okay with it, although it did take time to adjust to it. As soon as I let go of all the stereotypical media, TV & movie propaganda, and what people thought, everything just fell into place. A place where I felt comfortable, even content. Being alone (not loneliness) isn’t for everyone. It wasn’t for me, to begin with, but now I have it, I bask in it, relish in it, and will probably fight for it. It’s not because I have family and friends who don’t want to be around me, they do (at least I think they do!), but they’ve come to accept and respect the preference for my alone time. My solitude.
Now how do you think of me? Creepy? Weird? All because I said I like my alone time.
It’s a strange word: solitude, it sums up all kinds of thoughts, judgments, and emotions: Of being alone, darkness, failure, mystery, withdrawal, sadness, wisdom, winter, suicide, hermit, anti-social, old soul, loser, outcast, poetic, isolation, hibernation, heroism, stoic, introvert, asylum, Morrissey.
The majority of these words are blacklisted and shunned by society as weird, abstract, and invisible. Not something a lot of people like to confront or associate with, yet it seems the ‘solitude train’ has left the worldwide social station, so to speak. Solitude has gained something of contrived respect within society, in a Hollywood way that is with movies such as Batman/Bruce Wayne. The crucified anti-social superhero destined to walk alone in a world of espionage and crime. Can solitude get any cooler and more appealing than this?
But the average person, like you and me, going through solitude, especially when self-inflicted, can be introspective, sacrosanct, and somewhat liberating. A chance to review one’s life. A decision to make. An idea to explore. A situation to contemplate. A demon to banish (or feed). Solitude is the best rest-stop to take a breather and decide where to go from here, so what better way than to embrace it. Not runaway from it. Not to be ashamed by it. But nourish it. Enjoy it. Learn from it, and grow from it.
Solitude can be a great friend.
15 songs to feed the demon:
“Everybody’s gotta learn sometime” by Beck (55) Beck – Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometime – YouTube
“How soon is now?” by The Smiths (55) How Soon Is Now? (2011 Remaster) – YouTube
“Comfortably numb” by Pink Floyd (55) Pink Floyd – Comfortably numb – YouTube
“Bridge over troubled water”/“The sound of silence” by Simon & Garfunkel (55) Simon & Garfunkel – Bridge Over Troubled Water – YouTube
(55) Simon & Garfunkel – The Sound Of Silence (HD music video 1966) – YouTube
“Everybody hurts” by REM (55) R.E.M. – Everybody Hurts – YouTube
“Dust in the wind” by Kansas (55) Dust in the Wind – YouTube
“Gran Torino” by Jamie Cullum (55) Gran Torino – YouTube
“Man of the world” by Fleetwood Mac (55) Man of the World (1998 Remaster) – YouTube
“Alone on the rope” by Noel Gallagher (55) Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds – Alone on the Rope – YouTube
“One way trip to the sun” by Ditch (55) Ditch – One Way Trip To The Sun – YouTube
“Presence of God” by Soulsavers (55) Soulsavers – Presence of God – YouTube
“Space oddity” by David Bowie (55) Space Oddity – David Bowie (HQ) – YouTube
“Time” by Hans Zimmerman (55) Hans Zimmer – Time (Inception) – YouTube
“Mad world” by Gary Jules (55) Mad World – YouTube